Author Mel Robbins, who wrote “The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About,” has made an instant connection with those of us who tend to over-think, over-manage, and overreact to life’s annoyances. She writes, “Modern life can feel like death by a thousand cuts—one thing after another that slowly drains your energy and stresses you out. It’s not only easy
to let it get to you, it’s dumb.”
Whether it’s a coworker droning on in a meeting that should have been an email, a driver who is making bad decisions, the first day on the job barista, or an elderly shopper who can’t make up his mind at the meat counter, you’re bound to run into annoying people every day. There are only two good solutions: avoid all contact with people, or adopt Mel Robbins’s mantra: Let Them.
Mel writes: “You can’t control how other adults behave, and stressing about it diminishes your power. You’ll never reach the full potential of your life if you continue to allow stupid things or rude people to drain your life force. Your time and energy are your most valuable resources, and you have to guard them carefully.”
When Mel gets annoyed by a long line or inconsiderate fellow human, she uses her mantra to redirect her energy. “The 10 extra minutes that this line was going to take wouldn’t negatively impact the rest of my day,” she writes, “but allowing myself to get agitated and annoyed about something I couldn’t control absolutely would.”
When you let things that are out of your control stress you out, you cannot be your best self. You start living in survival mode, which impacts your ability to reason, focus, do your best work, or be nice to people you love. How many times have you held in all your stress and anger throughout the day, only to explode at your husband who asks (again) if we have any Ziploc bags?
Mel writes, “Catching your stress response using Let Them [and Let Me, which is coming in a future post] empowers you to choose what you say, think, or do instead of allowing your emotions to hijack your response. No more rage texts, or snapping at your loved ones, or wasting hours crafting an email at work. The fact is, not every email warrants a response and not every conversation needs your participation—and you do not always have to have the last word.”
Let Them works best with deep, slow breaths, which allow your physical body to relax and believe you mean to let (whatever this is) go. Deep breath. “Let them.” Deep breath. You have all the power, in any situation, to control how you react. It might take a while to sink in,
but it’s true. Your annoyance, stress, and anger are choices. That means you can choose differently.
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